Egg Explosion

Hey y’all!  Hope that February is treating you well.  I am anxiously awaiting the acceptance of a counteroffer on my condo this week – so keep fingers and toes crossed for me that it goes through!  It has been a busy week thus far back here in the ‘hood.

Monday I was diligently in front of my computer, scoping the dreary job listings on 42 different career sites (who knew that we had to segment want ads to furiously now?!).  Of course, my cats have no issue with this habit – because they get to sit for hours on my lap, happily purring and snoozing away.  I am so glad that job hunting provides joy to some beings on this planet.  My mom left for Home Depot with a friend of hers about 30 minutes prior, when I heard a HUGE bang from the kitchen.  Immediately I thought one of the cats had knocked something over, climbing to heights of counters or cabinets they have no business being.  I took a quick inventory – and both cats and dog are accounted for – one on my lap, two at my feet.  “Crap!” I think to myself – someone has just broken in the house, and now my pale, skinny, white a** is going to have to practice some of Krista and Jess’ sculpt moves and put the smack down on somebody.  (Yeah, right – I was having a serious moment of panic, especially since I didn’t know where my cell phone was to call the police!).

So, I wait for a minute, don’t hear any other noise, so I do the brave thing – and tell the dog to go into the kitchen and check things out.  She does not return – traitor.  Slowly, I crept towards the kitchen, still not hearing any other noise than the dog licking something….off the floor….I walk further into the kitchen and there are eggs everywhere…….WTF?!  Apparently, my mother decided to put eggs on the stove to boil before she left and forgot to mention it.  Oops.  Have you ever seen an egg explosion?!  Well, being the good Nancy Drew that I am now, I took a few pictures for you to peruse.  We spent the better part of the afternoon cleaning eggs off the microwave, counters, oven, dishwasher, stove, on top of the cabinets, plastered on the ceiling, cleaning the kitchen furniture, and of course to Ginnie’s delight – the floor!  Needless to say – that damn kitchen is SPOTLESS now!  Oh – well except for the pieces of shell we keep finding in random places – you know kind of like when you have confetti at ONE party and you keep finding the refuse YEARS later?!

My mom’s husband came home that evening so that we could recap the story – and also tell him that the kitchen ceiling now needs to be patched (where the lid from the pan blasted into the ceiling) and the whole thing painted.  I don’t think he likes us very much right now…….but he was a good husband and brought home sweets for his sweet on Valentine’s Day.  There is a local store here in Springfield called Sweet Pete’s that custom makes all of their own chocolate – delicious stuff I tell you.  The neighborhood loves this place, especially the delinquents.  Monday after work, Jay stopped into Sweet Pete’s (I mean why plan ahead for VD Day right?) to pick up my mom’s gift.  He said the woman in front of him made a small purchase of a candy bar, and when the clerk turned around to get her change, she grabbed their tip jar and dumped all of the change into her bra – right in front of Jay – and then walked out!  Now those are some heavy t*ts – and one heck of a Valentine’s gift for some lucky guy!  😉

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