Feelin’ Good

Video from one of the last ArtWalks I went to before we moved from JAX. And, of course, I can’t remember the band’s name, but they were fabulous!

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Jazz for Jesus

S and I have been trying to explore the city as much as possible since we moved. He’s much better at it than I am, however. He’s still not working – because they want people to have a Masters Degree to qualify for jobs like waiting tables. Wouldn’t your parents be so happy to know that you blew their life savings (or your own, I suppose) only to end up waiting fucking tables?!  I’m sure mine would kick my ass, but I digress.

Saturday, I got some writing done in the morning and then we went to the Farmers Market in the afternoon. My cousin and his wife, who live just across the Columbia River in Vancouver, but whom I haven’t seen since we moved here 7-months ago (don’t judge, when was the time you called me?), were in town that evening to celebrate his birthday. I had my 3 glasses of wine, as is customary when I’m celebrating someone’s birthday (add to that 3 cucumber martinis when I’m celebrating my own), and was home by 11pm.

Sunday was spent on the couch. There was no hangover involved in that decision, mind you.  Just a general morose mood that I’ve been carrying around with me for a few weeks now. These feelings are best suited for sitting on the couch, eating popcorn and watching bad action movies, or chic flics when I’m really desparate. By 4pm, S was able to convince me to leave the house.

He reminded me that I had told him I wanted to check out the church up the street (clutch the rosary!) because they had a sign out front that they do Jazz on the Third Sunday of each month at 4:50pm. Ugh…fine, I guess I’ll go brush my hair and put on a decent pair of pants.  As we’re headed out the door, he starts asking all kinds of questions that I don’t have the answer to…”how long is it” and “do we have to pay?”  In a huff, I retort, “Look, if you don’t want to go, just say so.”  Hurt, he replies, “I want to go, I was just curious.” Impatiently I reply, “there wasn’t any information on their website so we’ll find out when we get there.”

In typical Laura fashion, we arrived after the start of the performance.  There was a man at the door to greet us with programs titled Jazz Vespers…not a good sign…Vespers is the sunset evening prayer service in the Orthodox, Western Catholic, Eastern Catholic, Anglican, and Lutheran liturgies of the canonical hours. The word comes from the Greek ἑσπέρα (“hespera”) and the Latin vesper, meaning “evening.”

As we rounded the corner, into the sanctuary, I heard a French Horn, Bass and some drums….not too bad. And then SHE started singing…in an operatic voice, Sunday Hymns….Whaaa???? I took a closer look at the program and elbowed S, “I think this is an actual service!”

“No shit,” he fires back….vengeance is his today…damn it!  At that point, I start giggling uncontrollably, thinking to myself, “maybe S is onto something with this whole asking questions thing.” Then again, I wouldn’t have ever had the opportunity to experience Jazz for Jesus. We leave the church as swiftly as we came in. I turn to S and say, “you know I would have stayed if she was actually singing in the same jazz rhythm of the band. You just can’t mix opera and jazz.  That shit don’t work!”

“Indeed,” he replied. And this is why I love this man.

Opportunity Knocks

Opportunity is all around us – we just have to be willing to see it…or have the balls to grab it.  Ooorrrrr…sometimes, you just need to admit you’re kind of an unscrupulous a$$hole.

Opportunity Knocks

Walgreens, NYC Style

I’m wondering what one really needs an At Home Drug Test kit for anyway….wouldn’t you know if you were high?  And if you were high, wouldn’t you kind of already know how you got that way to begin with?  I’m really curious.

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Jesus and Betty

After I parked next to this vehicle and got out, I was assaulted with a plethora of bad window decals.  Immediately, I wondered “Does this mean Jesus loves Betty Boop?” According to the stickers this giant SUV he does…although it kind of looks like maybe he’s just looking down on old Betty and thinking to himself “Jesus knows you a ‘ho, girl”.

Then I start thinking, “Now why would you pair Jesus and Betty Boop together on your vehicle? Exactly what message are you trying to send to us about your personality?”  Maybe Jesus is onto something here….maybe the driver is a ‘ho looking for some salvation…or maybe the driver is just a nimrod with a weird Betty Boop window decal obsession, but didn’t want anyone to think they weren’t a believer, so threw in a window decal of Jesus for good measure before heading out the club on a Friday night.

I’ve learned that people in the South like to throw Jesus into a lot of places where he doesn’t necessarily belong…like government and public schools…at least this person realizes that Jesus loved hanging with the sinners and I’m pretty sure that Betty was a naughty one.  Come to think of it, maybe this window decal lover of Betty Boop and Jesus actually understands more about Jesus than the churches here do!

I just wish I was able to get a picture of the owner of said vehicle – then we might be able to put this mystery to rest once and for all.

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